
For children on the autism spectrum, the long-term goal of tolerating waiting can be challenging for many reasons. In general, the concepts of “waiting” and “time” are abstract, which makes them difficult to understand. Children on the autism spectrum can be inflexible about their schedules and / or they may lack the self-regulation to endure waiting. The inability to wait appropriately can lead to interfering behaviors, including tantrums. The ability of a child to master the long-term goal of tolerating waiting may reduce these behaviors as they occur while waiting, and can help your child develop daily functioning and appropriate social skills. Such skills can be applied to many situations, including social situations (e.g., waiting for a turn in a game, waiting in line at a store, etc.), school (e.g., waiting for a teacher to provide instructions or call on a child), and at home (e.g., waiting for a parent to help with something).
The following may help you to teach your child the long-term goal of tolerating waiting:
- Determine the amount of time your child can wait. Prior to engaging in any activity to encourage your child to tolerate waiting, determine how long your child can wait and initially practice waiting with a slightly longer period of time. For example, if your child can wait patiently for 30 seconds, practice having them wait for 45 seconds and build in additional time after waiting for 45 seconds has been mastered.
- Practice with a desired item. Put your child’s preferred toy or item within their sight but out of reach. Tell them they can have that item in 2 minutes and encourage them to wait appropriately (i.e., not grabbing for that item during the waiting time). Set a timer and when the time is up, provide your child with that item. Offer praise for appropriately waiting. Build up to longer times.
- Find spontaneous and / or naturalistic opportunities. Find moments or situations that naturally occur and have your child practice waiting. This will help to generalize the skill of tolerating waiting so that it can be applied in situations as they naturally arise. For example, if you and your child are at a park and there is a line for the slide, tell your child “We are going to wait in this line for your turn!” Encourage your child to count how many other kids will take their turn first.
- Offer explanations. Explain to your child the reason that they must wait in a certain situation. For example: explain that they must wait while you are speaking with another adult because it is rude to interrupt; explain that they must wait while you are in line at a grocery store because the people in front of and behind you are also waiting, and everyone needs to take a turn in the order of the line; explain that it is better to eat a healthy dinner before dessert and that is why your child must wait to eat dessert until after dinner.
- Teach them when it is not necessary to wait. Some situations (e.g., emergency situations) require immediate attention. Teach your child what these situations are so that they know when waiting is not the best approach in a given situation. For example, you can tell your child that if they have to use the restroom urgently or if they see an emergency safety event (such as a fire), they do not need to wait. You can make it a game, and have your child identify situations that are urgent and other situations in which it is ok to wait.
- Additional resources:
For the parent
3 Tips for Teaching Waiting & Patience to Kids | Parenting | Strategies - Bing video
Teaching Children with Autism Patience - Bing video
For the child
Learn to Wait in Line and Wait for Your Turn | Noodle Kidz - Bing video
Social Skills Patience - Bing video
For the long-term goal of tolerating waiting, you can practice the short-term goals of tolerating waiting in a line, tolerating delayed access to a desired item, or tolerating waiting while someone speaks so as not to interrupt them.
Tolerating Waiting in Line
For the short-term goal of tolerating waiting in a line, you can work on the targets of tolerating waiting in line at a grocery store, tolerating waiting in line for your turn on a ride, tolerating waiting in line at a restaurant, etc.
- Step 1: Decide what type of situation you would like your child to learn to tolerate waiting in a line for. For example, you can choose the target of tolerating waiting in line for your turn on a ride while working on the short-term goal of tolerating waiting in line. The task analysis for waiting in line for your turn on a ride could be as follows:
- At a park, pick a ride that has people in line waiting.
- Count the number of people in line waiting for their turn and tell your parent how many people are waiting.
- Go to that ride and stand at the back of the line.
- Wait patiently as each person in line takes their turn.
- When people start standing in line behind you, count the number of people in line waiting for their turn behind you, and tell your parent how many people are waiting.
- When it is your turn (no one else is in front of you), go on the ride.
- Step 2: An initial/specific discriminative stimulus (SD) should be selected that will cue your child that the task will start. This SD can be a visual SD, such as an image of people waiting in a line, or a verbal SD (“Time to practice waiting in line!” or “Let’s practice waiting for your turn!”).
- Step 3: Collect baseline level data by providing the SD from Step 2 and allowing your child to attempt independently. The baseline level will vary according to your child and their specific abilities. Take data on which steps were accurately done independently. For example, you can count how many steps in a row (from the task analysis in Step 1) your child can complete independently. Alternatively, if your child is able to complete the entire task analysis independently, record how long it takes your child to complete it independently (e.g., 3 min, 5 min, 7 min, etc.).
- Step 4: To begin the trial to monitor progress towards meeting the target (i.e., the target of tolerating waiting in line for your turn on a ride), provide the SD from Step 2 and allow your child to attempt independently. When your child is successful, provide reinforcement. If the reinforcer for the behavior is a tangible item, such as a small snack or a token for a token board, ensure that it is provided with a great deal of verbal praise. Ideally, you want your child’s positive behavior to be supported solely by social reinforcement. If the behavior was not displayed, end the trial and provide the appropriate level of prompting on the following trial. For example, employ a model prompt to show your child what to do at the beginning of the following trial (e.g., model for your child how to identify a ride with a line, then join the back of the line, followed by waiting in line patiently).
- Step 5: Collect data on how your child makes progress. For example, count how many steps in a row (from the task analysis in Step 1) your child can complete independently. Alternatively, you can track progress by recording how long it takes your child to complete all the steps from the task analysis in Step 1. Or, alternatively, you can track progress by counting the number of successful attempts at waiting in line for your turn on a ride during a session.
- Step 6: Track how your child makes progress to meet the target of tolerating waiting in line for your turn on a ride by comparing with either a number threshold or a percentage threshold (necessary to meet the target). For example, you can record the number of successful attempts at waiting in line for your turn on a ride over a certain number of sessions, and compare that with the number threshold necessary to meet the target. Alternatively, you can record what percentage of times your child can complete all the steps from the task analysis in Step 1, and compare that with the percentage threshold necessary to meet the target.
Tolerating Waiting for a Reinforcer
In ABA, a “reinforcer” is an item that motivates your child to engage in a desired behavior. Reinforcers can include preferred items, such as toys or games, or food treats, and should be selected based on their availability in a given location (for example, a preferred doll is not useful in a school environment if the toy is at home). Encouraging your child to master the short-term goal of waiting for a reinforcer after they have successfully completed a task allows for increasing the length of time from the action to the reward, making the action of waiting more generalizable in different environments. This will be beneficial for your child in settings where it is a challenge for reinforcement to be delivered immediately, such as in a school setting. Helping your child learn to wait for a reinforcer may also allow you to gradually decrease use of the item(s) to avoid your child depending on the presence of that item to engage in a desired behavior.
The following activities can help to practice the short-term goal of waiting for a reinforcer:
- Practice waiting during an activity. Pick a time when your child is calm and engaged in a simple activity. With the reinforcer in hand, demonstrate your expectations to your child. For example, if you are having your child identify safe and unsafe actions, hold up a card and raise your index finger to eye level, pointing it mid-way between yourself and your child. While pointing your finger, ask “safe?” When your child responds correctly, provide positive reinforcement and praise while providing your child with the reinforcer. Repeat the process and provide pauses at increasing intervals between your child’s response and providing the reinforcer. If your child interrupts you before you have provided the reinforcer, gently say “shh” and start again. As your child becomes more advanced at this skill, vary the length of the pause.
- Structured waiting. Select an object that your child associates with reinforcement, like a favorite toy. Try to estimate how long your child can wait before they will ask for that object. You will initially build up to that estimated time and ideally, your child will eventually expand the amount of time they will wait. Sitting with your child, hand your child the reinforcer and allow them to hold it for 3-5 seconds. Gently take the item back and say “wait.” Hold the item for fifteen seconds before giving it back to your child. Repeat this process while building up the length of time that your child must wait. Ensure that you are providing positive reinforcement and praise as your child adapts to the different intervals of waiting.
- Practice waiting using a spontaneous and naturalistic approach. In a scenario where your child needs your assistance, encourage waiting. You could do this by putting a reinforcer out of reach. You can prompt your child by asking if they want the item and then create a distraction to give a brief pause between when you ask your child if they want the reinforcer and when you give them the reinforcer. If your child is able to wait patiently, provide them with positive reinforcement and / or any kind of praise that demonstrates their success. Slowly extend the amount of time you have your child wait.
- Develop cues. Use words or images to indicate to your child that their request for the reinforcer will be delayed, such as “You can have this in 1 minute” or “Please wait for 1 minute.” Similarly, develop cues to indicate that the requested time has passed and you will be providing the reinforcement, such as “Good job! Now you can have the [item].”
For the short-term goal of waiting for a reinforcer, you can choose the targets of waiting for 3 minutes to receive your snack after asking, waiting for 1 minute to receive verbal praise after a desired action, practicing waiting for a reinforcer at 2 different time intervals (30 seconds and 1 minute).
- Step 1: Decide what type of waiting for a reinforcer you would like your child to learn. For example, you can choose the target of tolerating waiting for 3 minutes to receive your snack after asking while working on the short-term goal of waiting for a reinforcer. The task analysis for waiting for 3 minutes to receive your snack after asking could be as follows:
- Sit in a chair in front of the kitchen table across from your parent.
- Ask for a cookie. For example, say, “Can I please have a cookie?”
- Wait for your parent to respond. They will tell you that you can have the cookie in 3 minutes.
- Set a 3 minute timer and start it.
- Wait patiently while the timer counts down.
- When the timer goes off and the 3 minutes are up, accept the cookie from your parent.
- Say, “thank you.”
- Step 2: An initial/specific discriminative stimulus (SD) should be selected that will cue your child that the task will start. This SD can be a visual SD, such as an image of a stopwatch, or a verbal SD (“Time to practice waiting for 3 minutes!” or “Let’s see if you can wait 3 minutes for your snack!”).
- Step 3: Collect baseline level data by providing the SD from Step 2 and allowing your child to attempt independently. The baseline level will vary according to your child and their specific abilities. Take data on which steps were accurately done independently. For example, you can count how many steps in a row (from the task analysis in Step 1) your child can complete independently. Alternatively, if your child is able to complete the entire task analysis independently, record how long it takes your child to complete it independently (e.g., 1 min, 2 min, 3 min, etc.).
- Step 4: To begin the trial to monitor progress towards meeting the target (i.e., the target of tolerating waiting for 3 minutes to receive your snack after asking), provide the SD from Step 2 and allow your child to attempt independently. When your child is successful, provide reinforcement. If the reinforcer for the behavior is a tangible item, such as a small snack or a token for a token board, ensure that it is provided with a great deal of verbal praise. Ideally, you want your child’s positive behavior to be supported solely by social reinforcement. If the behavior was not displayed, end the trial and provide the appropriate level of prompting on the following trial. For example, employ a model prompt to show your child what to do at the beginning of the following trial (e.g., model for your child how to ask for a snack, then wait while the timer counts down 3 minutes, followed by accepting the snack after the timer has gone off).
- Step 5: Collect data on how your child makes progress. For example, count how many steps in a row (from the task analysis in Step 1) your child can complete independently. Alternatively, you can track progress by recording how long it takes your child to complete all the steps from the task analysis in Step 1. Or, alternatively, you can track progress by counting the number of successful attempts at waiting for 3 minutes to receive your snack after asking during a session.
- Step 6: Track how your child makes progress to meet the target of tolerating waiting for 3 minutes to receive your snack after asking by comparing with either a number threshold or a percentage threshold (necessary to meet the target). For example, you can record the number of successful attempts at waiting for 3 minutes to receive your snack after asking over a certain number of sessions, and compare that with the number threshold necessary to meet the target. Alternatively, you can record what percentage of times your child can complete all the steps from the task analysis in Step 1, and compare that with the percentage threshold necessary to meet the target.